Archive for June, 2010
Since lately…
Friday, June 25th, 2010 | arts | 58 Comments
we’ve been having some post on addictions and obsessions, let me tell you of the hot and cool pics I’ve ran into at Obsession Art. No, wait, let me show you one… Print sizes are available for all these glamourous pictures.
Addictions
Thursday, June 24th, 2010 | analysis, sex | No Comments
Too much of a good thing is always bad, they say. Also, too much of a good thing can lead to addiction, no matter what that good thing is, or how innocent it seems – chemical liaisons just form in one’s brain, pleasure inducing hormones such as dopamine and serotonin get repeatedly released, in high quantities, whenever you get that “good thing” around (dopamine) or have a good taste of it (serotonin), and there we are. It works for chocolate, for mountain rides, shopping, blackjack and it also, or especially, works for sex, love and their magnificent combination.
Now, as human beings we value freedom. We value it so much that we fail to truly understand it many times, and, generally, we realize it’s gone only in the most trivial, obvious cases. Truth is, we lose it each time we refuse to fully understand a situation, each time we trade realism for idealism because idealism sounds so much better, only to end up with a deformed perception on reality – like a clear image on it would be easily achievable, anyway…
We love chocolate for the delicious reward that it is, shopping for the illusions of beauty and infinite seduction it brings for our narcissistic selves, idealism for its righteous passion, and we love love. Many of our addictions are originally natural and nonetheless useful things. Even blackjack – I know someone who made a living for his family out of it, during the hard period following World War II. But when we can’t resist emptying our debit & credit cards at the mall, we lose ourselves. Even more when we can’t see the reality and refuse to understand the whole depth of people in their purely human greatness and even more human misery or mediocrity – an addiction to idealism leads fast enough to a taste for misconceptions and prejudice. And even more when love ceases to be generous and becomes dependence and obsession (great article here, by the way, although it only covers erotical love).
Someone told me recently that everyone is an addict, and if they should be addicted to something, they would chose love and ideals. My firm belief is that nicotine would be better.
Midsummer
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 | life, mythical, vintage | 99 Comments
On the 24th of June, there is the so-called Midsummer, known in the Cristian calendar as the day of birth of Saint John the Baptist. This holiday always revives our innermost rhythms and our connection with nature, as it ritually marks the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. Therefore, all around Europe people have different rituals of celebrating Midsummer, which, in the old pagan world had an importance equal to nowadays Christmas (well, let’s not think of the whole commercial fuss about Xmas right now), which coincides with the winter solstice. Also, Midsummer ritual are reported as well in US or Canada, but lets not take now the shallow neopaganism into consideration and let us focus on genuine tradition.
The evening of 23rd of June is Midsummer’s Eve, and it is an evening for magic and bliss. Most medicinal and magical plants are picked up today, since their healing powers are assumed to reach their peak around midnight or before dawn. Waters are said to be healing also. Bonfires are lit to protect from evil spirits, and spells for growth and fertility are made, some involving beautiful wreaths of flowers and fresh leaves. Love rituals, especially, are everywhere: mock marriages are arranged both between adults as between children, and if a girl puts a bunch of flowers under her pillow she is said to dream of her future spouse that night.
It is a time of magic, but this magic has a sense of humour also – not to forget Shakespeare’s comedy “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, with the whole bunch of tricks the forest fairies play on one another and on people.
At sunrise, the sun winks, plays and smiles, or so the legend says – however, if you get to see the sunrise, you’ll be blessed and lucky through the year. It is a feast of life, of life at its very best.
Rodin – genuine sensuality, mirrored
Thursday, June 17th, 2010 | arts, mythical | 105 Comments
There are few works of art that celebrate the human body at its purest and most sensual expression, the way the sculptures of the great Auguste Rodin (1840-1917) do. Faraway from the usual cliques, it is there the force, the violent passions of humanity, there in the tormented surfaces, in the rich and luxurious shapes, the truth, the individuality. What is there in a metaphor other than individuality and universality brought together? And what is the core of the individual if not the clash between spirit and emotion?
Rodin was the one to free sculpture from formalism and bring it to life, his expressive style, evoking both the concrete sensuality of flesh and the mystical purity of spirit, plays with shadows and light, with details and textures, and makes marble and bronze truly human.
Feminism and femininity
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 | analysis, life, people | 2 Comments
Following the wonderfully inspiring speech that Isabel Allende gave a while ago at TED, I spent some time thinking of what feminism is, and of what it means. What its initial purpose was, and how it diverged.
I find it perfectly fair and democratic that women can vote, work and support themselves, make their own decisions and have each and every right a human being is entitled to. This is a great thing Modern Times have done for women, and this moral achievement was both necessary and liberating. In some contemporary societies there still are many, many women for which these rights are nothing but a distant dream, and fighting to impose them is simply vital. I also have all the respect in the world for the works of Simone de Beauvoir or Virginia Woolf.
The Western World, however, is going too far on this. As I’ve been recently travelling by train, carrying quite a heavy suitcase, I found myself struggling to put my luggage up in the luggage rack, while my western male friends were simply watching. Since we’re equal, we’re equal, right? Even if, as a woman, I have a significantly inferior muscular strength and I could use some help. One could argue this is an isolate case, but no, I’ve met numerous similar situations in Western Europe. It’s a behavioural trend.
I’ve been watching Sex and The City with my female friends, and I guess no one would disagree with me on it being a good expression of the mainstream feminism in our society. Let us now remember one thing from the movie: Samantha leaves her handsome, much younger boyfriend, who loved her truly and had morally supported her through chemotherapy, and she does that because of his busy schedule. Like seriously, that’s all you can do, right? When a relationship faces some challenge, you have to think of your own happiness and move on, since a little effort on reviving it, a little well-deserved devotion would be so uncool, right?
What I’m trying to say here, by these examples, is that we are heading towards extremism. When feminists such as Marlene Dixon say that marriage leads to the oppression of women, or when neofeminist groups opinion against vibrators reproducing the shape of the penis and thus perpetuating phallocracy, well… it sounds like it’s time to stop and take a deep breath.
Femininity, my dear friends, is also weakness, and we have to accept that, since it’s biologically built-in. Is seduction and devotion towards our male fellows, and it is also need for love. It is a precious gift that is part of our identity, and, also, is a feature we just wanna waste, since our attractivity is closely related to our femininity. Therefore, while the core values of feminism and femininity go hand in hand, everything is fine and perfectly sane. When contradictions appear, it is a sign that feminism has gone too far, heading towards misandry and its values have turned weird and distorted.
The Home Fire
Monday, June 14th, 2010 | analysis, life, people, sex | 53 Comments
As I am having my ice tea – read normal tea with some ice in it – in this torrid summer day, I just can’t take my mind from some survey I’ve came across this weekend here .
It seems that only about 40% of married couples have sex at least once a week, while around 15% of married people, both male and female, are basically chaste. Of course, this is an average value, and people in the age group 18-35 are expected to be above this estimation when it comes to sexual activity. My question is, however, why? Why does this happen?
We know people neglect their sexual lives due to stress related issues, relationship troubles or even health problems. If health-stuff is a no-way-out kind of situation, it is also only temporary in most cases, and probably the least frequent of the three. When it comes to relationship issues, the question is why staying in a relationship with someone that doesn’t inspire you to have sex with? Why quarreling and why getting bored? Why wasting your time and stamina in such a limbo? If
you’ve got good stuff there, do something about it, fight to revive it. Otherwise, just go ahead and break the tie. You’ll probably find someone else to be happy with, or maybe not, but if you stay in a bad relationship you’re just giving up this chance for good.
But there are also a lot great relationships out there, that just struggle with the real world-love conflict of interests. That suffer from today’s speed of living because their “involved ones” just put affairs less stringent aside.
Why don’t we *do* it? Because we are so often forgetting how important it is. When your job is very demanding, little energy is left for hot bedroom delights, but, just as you make time to have lunch/dinner, or go grocery shopping, you can spare a couple of hours for lovemaking. It takes some planning effort maybe, but it’ll be the best spent hours of the week, it’ll relax and rejuvenate you, and will do wonders for your mood and your relationship. Because there’s no way your career can match the importance of your loved one – or something is very, very wrong.
You can wake one hour earlier in the morning, and just be spontaneous about it – it’ll be worthed, and who could imagine a better, more shining start for your day? Or you can give up once in a while those extra-office hours, leave the rest of the work for tomorrow, and spend a relaxing evening in the hot tube, with your loved one. Or you can arrange short getaways at the end of the week. These are the little things that will keep the fire burning in your yard, and you won’t have to blame yourselves, years later, for growing apart. It really matters. And no, getting old doesn’t count as an excuse: studies have shown that couples in their 50s and 60s can have fulfilling sexual lives, if they have been actively maintaining them so.
Sans Innocence is back
Thursday, June 10th, 2010 | self | 235 Comments
Well, it’s been a long trip, I guess. A long trip, full of people, troubles and love, and pain. I promise to share with you some of the lessons learned, but, for now, I just wanted to say that it’s so good to be back. I am tired, but happy.
A blog is like a home, it has so many things that remind you of who you are, of what you believe in, of your relationship with the world around you. And, while it is part of your public persona (i.e., mask), if you are honest with your readers it ends up by containing more of your ideal self than any other mundane form of disguise. To fully say the truth, I am back here also because I’ve felt a stringent need to better understand myself lately, and, although there are a lot of ways in which this magnificent thing can be achieved, I thought that speaking up about all I have recently seen, learned and experienced will be the best way.
To celebrate my return, here is the great Chavela Vargas, whose passionate songs burn like flames.