style
Fishnet/Sheer Stockings …a feminine myth
Monday, October 27th, 2008 | sex-appeal, style | No Comments
I guess we’ll just leave this modern day sexual symbol’s analysis for some other day/post. Because, sometimes, pictures really are worth a thousand words.
Courtship… again
Sunday, October 26th, 2008 | analysis, people, style | No Comments
Here we are, back to the courtship theme and all its marvelous issues. Because, dear friends, there are some things we find unacceptable in our tiny little world, that may be lacking innocence, but not charm, not daydreaming, not elegance. So, let us share to you all the very phrase that arouse our indignation: Am I courting you?
Sans Innocence is not the kind of narcissistic freak committed to believe all men should be courting her, and she did not receive this rather ingrate response from some random friend/acquaintance/guy on the street or someone else’s man. No. Sans Innocence got the aforementioned phrase from her boyfriend, with whom she manages to share a one-year-pretty-nice-relationship. And, in his defense, one must say he is really charming, graceful, polite and truly loves our main character here.
Further developments of The Phrase: Oh, yes, indeed, I was courting you at the beginning, when we started dating. This translates to me as: Well, we’re only using that very pleasing romantic ritual at the beginning, when we don’t know the girl very well and want to impress her, but after we reach some intimacy level with that lovely creature we just don’t see the point of courting her anymore, ’cause the relationship would go on anyway. Really? I mean, most successful couples I know have reached a certain number of years together because they actually kept dating. (Note: of course, each other, not other people…). How can you keep your butterflies in your stomach for longer if you stop regarding your significant other as some fascinating, mysterious stranger? How can you avoid taking his/hers love for granted? How not to be slipping into a boring routine?
To cut a long story short, my point is this: one should never get to think of The Other as a private possession, a part of him/herself or anything else one might dare to neglect. The Other is a wonderful and desirable fortress which is never truly ours, and which must be conquered again, every dawn. Therefore courtship, as you may see, is a must.
PS: the photo above is our way of recommending www.michaelfairchild.com for those of you interested in wild life photography and not only.
Love, wine, sparks
Monday, October 6th, 2008 | gourmet, style | No Comments
It is hard for me to remember an out of routine intimate encounter that could be considered, you know, alcohol free… Of course, I’m skipping here the twice-a-week love-making people usually experience in committed relationships. It’s the affair, the romantic surprise or hot anniversary I’m pointing at. Those evenings when you put your stilettos on, wishing for something perfect. When it’s a first, or a very special night in.
White in the summer, red and even hot in autumn and winter, wine is the drink most associated with passion, carnality and all lust in the world. Ever since the ancient times of orgiastic Bacchic rituals, the wine had a very special power, or raising sensuality and unleash inner forces. People were surpassing inhibitions, role playing, lies, and, in vino veritas, nothing but the naked truth was aloud in th game.
Nowadays, drinking wine it is as well an erotic ritual as it is a social one. When drunk moderately, of course. It brings people together, it brings up honesty and warmth in their relationships. It makes them more open, more adventurous. Shy people find their way to witty flirts, overcoming their tremendous self-awareness. It has, maybe, turned into a modern cliche, but having a wine with your loved one is an ultimate delight, and a sure, smooth way to some uninhibited bedroom stories. ‘Cause, it’s a good moment to share your kinky, usually half-repressed fantasies, isn’t it? It’s the time for misbehaving, and, sincerely, I don’t know a better recipe for long burning flames than ever spicy misbehaving.
So, if you have a special night-in planned for this weekend, pick up some lovely Chardonnay, or Sauvignon Blanc, and prepare to play. Wanna go for red? Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Noir will give a special flavour to your memories, because, dear friends, we truly desire to turn the moment into a true festival of all senses, don’t we? My secret recommendation here? Portuguese green wine, light and sparkling. It’s my personal favourite.
Yin, Yang and the melting pot (part II)
Saturday, October 4th, 2008 | analysis, mythical, style | No Comments
If we go deep, really deep within ourselves, we come to the point where we can realize where our Anima or Animus is, how it reports to itself or to us, and, most of all, where in our behaviour does it show its trickiness. Being aware of one’s Anima or Animus may bring significant improvement in this person’s life.
For instance, when we fall in love out of the blue it happens because we have met someone close enough to our Anima/Animus for it to project itself upon him or her. And so, for us, that person suddenly becomes the very incarnation of Masculinity or Femininity, as we understand and desire it, because it is our own Anima or Animus we are identifying her/him with. That’s why, in those moments, we feel that we are irresistibly drawn towards that wonderful, promising creature, that seems to have locked inside the very secret of our happiness, our fate, our meaning. When, later on, we unfortunately fall out of love, the whole initial magic doesn’t make sense anymore, sometimes the attraction we once felt gets beyond any understanding and there are also many unpleasant things about our former lover we can’t explain not having seen before.
The Myth of the Androgyn has its roots here, although the other half we are so eagerly looking for during our lifetime actually lies inside us. Being together with one or another of its projections may bring us temporary relief, may bring us human warmth and long moments filled with love, but when until the spell breaks we’ll still be incomplete.
However, when we become truly aware of our Anima/Animus, when we manage to understand it and to integrate it into our self, then we’ll get strong, real, wise, complete. It’s that very moment when we find ourselves, that very moment that sees our greatness as a wonderful, luminescent whole. We obtain a peace that will clear away all pain and fear. We enlarge out conscience and rise ourselves beyond this world’s delusions. We reach our true self, and everything that will happen afterwards will be different, meaningful. The love we’ll get will be itself more complete, because we’ll be able to see our significant other not only as a reflection of our Anima or Animus but for what he or she really is, and adore it as a whole. Our compassion and understanding will enlarge and our world will be richer and much more colorful.
But in order to get there we need long hours of introspection, of self-awareness in which to understand, accept and integrate what is different, and hidden, and yet, still within ourselves.
Global Warming, Human Cooling?
Thursday, September 18th, 2008 | analysis, people, style | No Comments
As the long, hot summer we’ve been through has finally ended, leaving room for some more refreshing times down here, we started taking serious concerns less seriously, and that involves the global warming issue, that we had previously been haunted by for weeks. I mean, it is bad… but Sans Innocence just had some huge amounts of white tea, lying in that old, cozy armchair and wishing the world would give her a break. With the catastrophes, at least.
Besides, there are other phenomenons related to the post-industrial era that sadden us in a similar degree. Phenomenons referring to people, interactions, relationships, communication. It’s like we’d be dealing with some kind of compensation’s law here: the earth is getting warmer, the people are getting colder. Yeah, thermodynamics… (surely, man is giving heat away to his environment, remember some physics principles here?).
However, it’s ironic that in the glorious times of email, instant messenger and micro-blogging people are more and more keen on growing apart from each other. How many truly significant relationships are you currently having? Or ever had? How high would you rate them, as for the quality of closure and of sharing them all? The fast, instant communication our modern stuff is offering us was designed to suit our fast, terribly fast way of living. Jobs, businesses, meetings, studies, trips are on the run. Live itself is on the run. Friendship. Love. Instant communicating offers us the sheer illusion we are somehow keeping in touch with people, and even establish a whole net of new connections – social networking, they say -, but the reality is those quick pings are nothing but life support to old friendships, while newly born ones get to have a development that reminds me of artificially nurtured fruits: no matter how big and pretty might seem, they’re absolutely tasteless. It takes time, lots of time, sincere involvement, honesty, mutual respect and confidence, and many other things in order to build a reliable friendship. You can’t put your eggs in IM’s basket, it takes real, face-to-face interaction. And same goes for love. The Internet abounds nowadays with dating and meeting-people networking, but ties grown here usually lead only to short flirtations and empty affairs, and that has a huge success because is exactly what everybody wants: having it fast and easy, and nevermind any quality concerns.
We run from place to place in our cars, spreading CO2 all over and rising global temperature, while in the same run we manage to cool down what was supposed to be our oasis of peace and well-being – our personal relationships. Bad choice, this speed of living. It is my ferm belief that we don’t actually need it (How many hours have lately you wasted in front of the TV? Or randomly surfing the net?) and that we really can take our time, make things right and give our social/romantic self the best it deserves. It is also my ferm, irrevocable belief and all we have to do is try, and let ourselves seduced by how great it gets. After all, it is our choice whether we want to submit to society’s self-destroying habits or stand up and dare to be free. Isn’t it?
Mhmm… Sexy Lingerie
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 | sex-appeal, style | No Comments
I’ve found this fun photo here, as I was randomly, un-innocently browsing the Internet. As I found myself instantly amused, I couldn’t help remembering all lingerie-discussions I ever had with men and women alike, from the classic “I so like this one”, to the “sexiest color? sexiest cut?”.
“It just won’t matter what I am wearing.”, a close friend of mine once said. “It will always go off so fast, nobody will ever notice”. She was in a long, passionate relationship with an Alpha-man, who was always waaaay too excited to even pay attention to her lace underwear. To him, she was extraordinary and enchanting anyway. Which I consider beautiful and extremely healthy, and I also think each and every woman should find herself a similar place in her boyfriend’s heart. But no, oh no, this does not mean women should give up looking for the perfect turn-on in their underwear closet. There is never such a thing as enough flame, or enough turn-on in a couple’s life, as love is a delicate creature, nurtured out of fire and beauty, and one can never get enough of these ones, right?
Now lets get back to our lace-and-silk subject…
We are not what we wear, but whatever we decide to wear express us, and that goes strongly for the bedroom, too. Actually, when it comes to a lady’s boudoir, the concern should at least equal same lady’s shoes or dresses, because this sweet aesthetic delight is destined to particularly and intensely please only the above mentioned lady and her dearest one, supposedly the most important people in the lady’s life. No gradma panties allowed when it comes to hot, and that goes too for any old, improper piece of underwear. I mean, don’t do this mistake ever, even if you don’t consider yourself a lady and you already have a man that promised to love you and only you no matter what. It’s just horrible. And dangerous in some very, very bad sense. You don’t wanna show yourself like a total mess, do you?
Investments are strongly advised. Even if nobody except you won’t be able to spot the quality of your lingerie, you’ll know and feel confident about it. Confidence is a great weapon and it makes a woman a lot more interesting and attractive. It’s also improving one’s mood, one’s spirit and even one’s health. Confident women are the ones aware of their femininity, and happily expressing it. Confident women rule the world.
So, first of all, make sure you know yourself, and your body, you know what fits you best and what doesn’t. You can try different styles and see what it goes and what it fails, you can even try imitating someone you admire, everything is permitted when you’re struggling to discover yourself. Then, use what you know, and go on expressing. If you’re strong and independent, go for bold colors, if you feel very sexual try transparencies, deep cuts, even leather, if you are more discrete get the lilac and beige pieces, they’ll suit you great, if you love refinement buy lace, if you’re the sensual type choose silk, and so on. Don’t be afraid to explore and don’t be afraid to get creative, you have only two rules to stick to: always go for quality stuff and always remain faithful to yourself. Because it’s something you deserve and owe to yourself.
Personally, I think the sexiest in lingerie is combining ladylike refinement with eye-appealing materials and cuts, and I would forever consider black, burgundy, plum and dark blue as most attractive colors to be worn in bed. But I also believe that a woman is at her best when she is comfortable with who she is and what she’s wearing, so role-playing definitely forbidden: if yellow and simple, sporty style makes you feel like a goddess, go for it. It’s the only way to sexy, and it goes through confidence.
Femme Fatale
Monday, September 8th, 2008 | analysis, mythical, sex-appeal, style | No Comments
There is a figure in today’s modern mythology that I found myself very fascinated with when I was a child. Oh, and in my early teenage period, too. It was the sublime, mysterious aura of so called femme fatale: the seductive, incentive woman that captures them all. Eyes, men, whatever. She had to have style and wits, and to posses that indescribable charm that was beyond beauty and glamour. Her sexuality was strong, dominant and enslaving, and there was no hope for the poor butterfly heading towards her light. A modern, powerful, superb witch.
Even though this image has blossomed fully during the ‘40 and ‘50 decades, in the period of the American “film noir”, I have to admit that one of my favourite bewitching characters is the cabaret dancer Lola Lola from 1930’s “Der Blaue Engel”. As everyone who has seen, or even heard about the movie that made Marlene Dietrich a star knows, the lovely Lola pushes Professor’s Rath life on a downward spiral using nothing but the power of lust that she so irresistibly awakens. The power behind a femme fatale ’s silk eyelashes is always meant to bring destruction in the aftermath of every sin, as her ravishing force will ultimately escape all control, even her own.
This was the black-and-white archetype that marked my age of restlessness. Surely, I eventually got to learn that it is only the incarnation of femininity’s destructive and unstoppable potential, and that it has nothing to do with reality. I have never met her in flesh and blood, only pale, wannabe roleplayers. As for any other common archetype (the mother, the maiden, the prophet, and so, so on), there is no human being that simple to match it completely. Humans are way more complicated than black-and-white figures, and even though our lives may, sometimes, resemble old thrillers, they have a little bit more meaning and underlying layers, don’t they? However, for short moments only, I can see her very glow in the shape of one of my female friends, or acquaintances, or other random girls I happen to randomly meet one place or another. And there she is, charming and dangerous, filling men’s hearts with desire, only to disappear some seconds later. Strange, glamourous epiphanies.
Or maybe just my imagination, as I truly, deeply love my inner world and its ghosts. So, reality check here: have you ever met Her?
Fairytales
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | analysis, mythical, style | No Comments
Oh, those sweet old times! How trendy they prove to be today! We’re always in for some candlelight or vintage furniture, aren’t we? It’s just the charm of living brand new lives in brand old eras that steals our soul. It’s that beautiful, oh-so-polished image that wraps us into some novel/movie/whatsoever character and that usually lasts until candlelight goes out and the lightbulbs go in. Cause fairytales are just fairytales, right?
Truth is fifteen minutes of poetry won’t make up for 15 hours of prose. And we always come back to our daily life and those overused contemporary myths: The Strong Woman, The Self Made Man, The Success. It seems like The Princess, The Hero, The Accomplishment have transformed overnight in their Business-World-Equivalents. That’s the model for today, nothing else we’ve got in stock, so take it or leave it.
I was not aware of my own, personal need for fairytales until some years ago. Back then, I was in the middle of some love-affair and way too preoccupied with being cool about it. Being cool was cool, right? So I was being so cool that one day I realised it wasn’t fun anymore. I was looking on the window, smoking in silence, my dreams were blocked somewhere on the way, there was no thrill, no thrill at all. I was feeling strong, the night was warm, there was no wind blowing and no sense of adventure. Nothing could have been more boring. My lover was a nice, calm, almost passionless person and I wasn’t looking for commitment. Everything was awfully clear and there was nothing to fantasize about. Suddenly, I realised I was living an uninteresting solitude, as my experiences were losing their meaning, and I got extremely sad. And out of that, of course, because that boredom thing wasn’t making feel like a novel heroine at all.
What I came back to was not idle dreaming, but a world full of sense. An interesting solitude, where you could plant fairytales and let them grow. And then I actually realised the value of being able to wait, hope or fight for something. It’s not the adventure that makes our hearts beat faster, but the possibility of it.
So, the prose? It will always be there, but when you do have something to wait for, something to believe in, well, it just turns to poetry a lot easier. And then we can just get rid of all those models and write some true fairytales. True fairytales rule.