Sans Innocence

The Home Fire

Monday, June 14th, 2010 | analysis, life, people, sex

As I am having my ice tea – read normal tea with some ice in it – in this torrid summer day, I just can’t take my mind from some survey I’ve came across this weekend here .

It seems that only about 40% of married couples have sex at least once a week, while around 15% of married people, both male and female, are basically chaste. Of course, this is an average value, and people in the age group 18-35 are expected to be above this estimation when it comes to sexual activity. My question is, however, why? Why does this happen?

We know people neglect their sexual lives due to stress related issues, relationship troubles or even health problems. If health-stuff is a no-way-out kind of situation, it is also only temporary in most cases, and probably the least frequent of the three. When it comes to relationship issues, the question is why staying in a relationship with someone that doesn’t inspire you to have sex with? Why quarreling and why getting bored? Why wasting your time and stamina in such a limbo? If
you’ve got good stuff there, do something about it, fight to revive it. Otherwise, just go ahead and break the tie. You’ll probably find someone else to be happy with, or maybe not, but if you stay in a bad relationship you’re just giving up this chance for good.

But there are also a lot great relationships out there, that just struggle with the real world-love conflict of interests. That suffer from today’s speed of living because their “involved ones” just put affairs less stringent aside.

Why don’t we *do* it? Because we are so often forgetting how important it is. When your job is very demanding, little energy is left for hot bedroom delights, but, just as you make time to have lunch/dinner, or go grocery shopping, you can spare a couple of hours for lovemaking. It takes some planning effort maybe, but it’ll be the best spent hours of the week, it’ll relax and rejuvenate you, and will do wonders for your mood and your relationship. Because there’s no way your career can match the importance of your loved one – or something is very, very wrong.

You can wake one hour earlier in the morning, and just be spontaneous about it – it’ll be worthed, and who could imagine a better, more shining start for your day? Or you can give up once in a while those extra-office hours, leave the rest of the work for tomorrow, and spend a relaxing evening in the hot tube, with your loved one. Or you can arrange short getaways at the end of the week. These are the little things that will keep the fire burning in your yard, and you won’t have to blame yourselves, years later, for growing apart. It really matters. And no, getting old doesn’t count as an excuse: studies have shown that couples in their 50s and 60s can have fulfilling sexual lives, if they have been actively maintaining them so.

Tags: issues, love life, sex

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